And when they did, the guys finally came clean about what happened in Memphis last year. There were videos documenting the meltdown on stage,but FFDP’s image guys said it was related to sound issues and nothing else. Well, it was about Ivan’s addictions and Jeremy Spencer did walk off stage after getting upset with their lead singer. Of course if you paid to see that show, that was not a good thing to happen. In the band’s case though, it almost needed to happen so Ivan could face up to his addictions. Zoltan recalls, “For the longest time, the stage was sacred. After that incident in Memphis, though, we looked at him like, ‘Dude, you’ve drawn a sword in a church! This is absolutely not okay!’ I was pissed. By the time you get to the point we’d made it to, you’ve basically climbed the Himalayas barefoot. We were planting our flag, and he was too f—ing wasted to remember it.” Moody adds “Did that public discussion force me to face up to my own issues? Absolutely. I’ve got so much to lose, and — at the same time — so much to gain [from quitting].”
Check out the video for “I apologize’ featuring Moody walking through a cemetery littered with the tombstones of rockers who died while still at their creative apex due to a variety of addiction issues. In the clip, Moody himself is seen walking through the graveyard with a shovel, digging his own grave and sitting atop it contemplating his decisions.