This is one of the reasons I love Dave Grohl........oh, and Will Farrell as well.

I am that which other have failed to be.

I have gone where others have failed to go and done what others have failed to do.

I ask nothing from those who give nothing.

And I reluctantly accept the fate of eternal loneliness should I fail.

I have stared into the gruesome face of fear, felt the cold sting of pain, and enjoyed the warmth of a moments love.

I have laughed, cried, hoped, and prayed.

I have lived times most say are best forgotten.

But in the end, at least I can say I proud of who I am.

A soldier.

Coach Phillip Fulmer announced he will be leaving the Tennessee football program at the end of the season. You probably already knew this, but what you probably don't know is what Phillip Fulmer's resignation has to do with a lap dance. That is a great question.

As a fan of Alabama I would normally relish the thought of this moment, but I don't. Actually, I'm shocked it took this long. SEC schools are pretty adamant about winning championships. I know he won in 98. We all see the licence plates. It was also the year Celine Dion had the number one hit. Her own little championship. We got over that. Get over the one championship.

UT fan, I know you have had one of the best win records over Phil's tenure, but he could only get you close enough to smell it. Which brings me to the stripper.

As a 'Bama fan, trust me, I sympathize. Hell, our coach before Sabin lost his job because of a strip club. See, it all connects. So I understand the frustration with a program.

So the point: UT football is like a strip club and here's how:

Neon lights - Neyland Stadium
Big doorman - Fulmer
$10.00 Beer - $10.00 Beer
$25.00 Cover - $500 ticket
Dancers - Players (no, not the cheerleaders)

You go in, get caught up in the hoopla, spend your hard earned money, sit in seats with God-Knows-What on them, look at young girls you'll never have, only to be excited to the point of exploding..............................then told it's time to go home.

You can apply that last sentence to either UT football or a strip club as the situation warrants.

And the circle is complete.

"Hell no! A tie is like kissing your sister."
Paul "Bear" Bryant

God love the Scorpions and their crappy ballad of the same name. I started whistling that tune when I saw McCain concede the election. Now on to my thoughts about it.

First let me say that everything that follows unless credited is my opinion and mine alone, so I'm not here to tell you what to think. As you get to know me, you will find I try to be as impartial as possible. I am a cynic towards everything.


So, let me just say that McCain was never in this race. Not really. This should be a lesson to you kids about politics. McCain ran a clean campaign. Not that Obama didn't, I'm talking about McCain here. I'll get to Obama in a bit. So, this is what happens when you leave the big guns in the holsters. I said from the beginning McCain's campaign slogan should simply be "I Lived in a Cage for 6 Years. You Owe Me". Not once during this campaign did McCain throw his service record in our faces. He is a real war hero. Not a disputed war hero, or a not here-O like the last two guys. But nay, nary a peep. Honestly, the biggest mistake of his campaign. He should have shoved it right down our collective throats. Who could question his dedication to the country. Forget politics. I mean devotion to a country and it's people. Unquestionable.



Second mistake is easy. Two words: Sarah Palin. Yep, sorry ladies, this is not a slight on your sex as a group. He may as well had Liz Lemon running with him. The problem here is the X Factor of McCain. The "What If" scenario pops in your head and it makes you break out in a cold sweat. I picture my mother trying to get us four kids out of the house. Now I picture the oval office after a terrorist attack. Her. Not "a woman". Her. Sarah Palin. She scared those on the fence. Most undecided voters went with Obama after her announcement.


So even though the popular voting was closer than the electoral, the mistakes in this were as easy to spot as the person just trying to get on TV on American Karaoke. Hard to watch. He should have asked Ann Coulter to run with him. She is actually more qualified than Sarah Palin. Wow. Did I just blow your mind?

President Elect Barack Obama. I omitted his middle name because I always thought it was stupid to make an issue of it, so I won't. Now, here is a man, who without the forces of Ditka and Fox Broadcasting would be unknown to most, if not all, of you. See, in 2004 the Illinois Senate seat was coming open. The front runner, Jack Ryan (husband to Jeri Ryan) liked freaky sex and withdrew from the Senate race. The Republican party called upon the mighty Ditka and pleaded for him to run against a then unknown Obama. Guaranteed winner. Think about it; Ditka running against anyone save George Halas himself in Chicago. Who would win? Ditka. Well it seems Fox Broadcasting had just acquired the rights to broadcast NFL games from CBS and offered Ditka a job. The rest, as they say, is history.


By the way; good job by Joe Biden to remain as elusive as a jackalope during this whole thing. I mean, Wow. Was Osama Bin Laden his press secretary? Will he put out a mix tape?


So congratulations to Barack Obama. Well earned and good luck. He ran the correct Presidential campaign. Money and a clean life record. What? He smoked some weed? If you have ever smoked weed, stop reading this. Cheater. Look, I will not pretend to know what is on the horizon. All I can say is get ready for changes. Change is scary indeed, but considering the last eight years of complete isolationism from the citizenry by our soon to be former cabal, I'm pretty excited to see what happens.


It's like landing in a plane. It's my most favorite part. I love the complete uncontrolled moment of tires hitting pavement. I mean, you just don't know what is going to happen. If it goes well you will soon be standing at the carousel trying to figure out if that is indeed your bag or some other tool with one like it. But if it goes bad, well, you get my meaning. Picture Tim Curry saying the word "anticipation" like he does in Rocky Horror. Yeah, like that.


So, for the next four years, just enjoy being an American. Like you should do regardless of the occupant of the big house on Pennsylvania Avenue. This a crackin country.


Rock on.

"Never hate a person for the color of their skin. Get to know them. I'm sure you will find a better reason not to like them" Dennis Miller

Hello and welcome to the twisted mind of the night guy at 1029 the Buzz. I will be posting a blog just about any time the urge strikes. And of course, you are welcome to join in the discussion. But as with all group activities, there must be rules. For without rules, well, you have chaos. And no one wants chaos, except maybe anarchists. But the problem with anarchists is that when they eventually take power, they become an oxymoron. I digress.

So let's get on to the rules. They are simple and direct.

1. Language - English is recommended. And if you use any foul, demeaning, hateful, disrespectful, or just plain moronic, your post will be deleted. My family reads this, so act accordingly.

2. Grammar - I know, I know, this is not school. "Why should I care?" you ask. I care because I hate trying to decipher garbled, improperly punctuated messes. Use spell check.

3. Respect - If you are here to flame others and belittle the opinions of those with whom you disagree, go away. Arguing on the Internet is just plain silly.

4. Facts - I respect any opinion you have on any topic we discuss. In my world, everyone gets picked for kickball. But if you are going to post, please be as factual as possible when making a post. If you post unsubstantiated rumor or gossip, the post will be deleted.

I may add more as the time goes by, but for now, that should cover the basics. I am stoked to have this forum to vent my thoughts and read yours. Check back every day. I'm sure to have posted something.

Thanks and let's rock blog style!!

Jake Wylde