I imagine these done in the voice of Eeyore… and it just makes them even better…
You know that college rule - if the professor is more than fifteen minutes late, class is canceled?
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Does the opposite apply as well? pic.twitter.com/IX0QzbX37Z
Classwatch 2017. Class started 30 mins ago. No students yet. I thought one was coming but it was just an administrator. Who laughed at me.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Five more minutes have passed. I'm starting to doubt myself. Did I tell them no class? Is today Thursday? Am I dreaming? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's so quiet. Every time I hear a door open, I sit up and smile. But when nobody enters my classroom, I die on the inside. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Class started 45 mins ago. Still no students. I get paranoid. Is the door to the classroom locked?
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I check it.
No.#Classwatch2017
Is everyone else in the world dead? Was there a sudden zombie attack and I survived, alone in my classroom? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I swear to all that's holy, if no students have shown up by the time it hits the hour mark, I'm calling it a day. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
A bird lands outside my window. I invite him in to learn about algebra. He declines and flies away. I hope a cat eats him. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I picture Rube Goldberg scenarios where all my students got into in one complex car accident and that's why they're late. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I check my email to see if I missed something. I have no emails at all. This is weird. Did I die? Am I dead? Is this hell? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's been an hour. Are there gunmen outside, holding everyone hostage and keeping them from coming in?
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I check.
Nope.#Classwatch2017
My sign-in sheet is as empty as my soul right now. I have to eat this candy alone. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/loUV8pX5Q5
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Maybe I should just start lecturing. Students will hear talking and come in. That woudn't be crazy, right? RIGHT?! #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE IS PULLING A PRANK ON ME I WILL probably break down and cry. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
The lights just went off on me automatically. I start to get up to move around so they turn on again, but what's the point. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I hear voices outside. I go to the window, hope in my heart. It's just some kids on their bikes, having fun. 1/2 #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
"Why aren't you in school? Your teacher needs you!" I yell through the closed window and give them the finger. 2/2 #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I have started to name the chairs in the classroom. Funfetti is the good student. Charmander, the troublemaker. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I fire off an email to my boss. "WHERE ARE ALL THE STUDENTS???!!?? 😪😪"
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
No reply.#Classwatch2017
Then it happens. I hear a door clang open. Footsteps get louder as someone approaches. Could it be? A student? 90 mins late? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's not.#Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
That's it. I give up. I'm packing up and going home. Clearly this is a sign that I wasn't meant to teach anyone today. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Two students just walked in. Remorseless, no apology, no explanation. I hope they don't think they're getting any candy. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I can't do it. I give them candy anyway, but remind them that class started 95 minutes ago. They shrug. Urge to kill rises. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Both students ask to use the computer today. I sigh and say okay. I don't even need to be here. End. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/FKEaTDaxuU
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It’s not easy being a teacher… props to this guy for his dedication, and patience!
-zigz
